- Golden Pantaloons, Silver Pantaloons and Bronze Pantalettes to Kerrick the Smith who can be found Arcana Archives in Amkethran. It offers an astonishing basic armor class of -10 and the usual armor class modifiers for its type. It requires 15 Strength, but it can be worn by all classes, which means it's the ultimate body armor. Big Metal Unit is a full plate mail that can be created by bringing the
|“|| Found within a long forgotten pocket of our collected pantology, herein tales the lie of the Metal "Unit".
Gargantua was self-proclaimed lord of his immeasurable lower regions until his son, Pantagruel, questioned the accuracy of the ruler. With his shortcomings exposed, great Gargantua lay prostrate upon the ground while Pantagruel sought to cover his cuirass in case his now governing body lost its sway. He was warned that the people would cut him no slacks, but he never listened, and had burned his britches behind him. Undaunted, he fulfilled his animus with the robes of his father, as uncomfortable as that might sound, and shaped the Metal "Unit" with his own hands.
The rule of Pantagruel was a discommoding morass, his armor eventually suffering a breach in the breech that proved his undoing. As his basket left the pantry, so to speak, his regime fell to insurrection, and so complete was the sacking that not even his Metal "Unit" could be found. The component pieces, a pantaloon triumvirate, were lost in the annals of time.
You now bear the awesome responsibility of the Metal "Unit". Gussets of wind, seams like reality, pockets of resistance, the seat of power, and legs as flared as your temper. Polish it well; the onus is now on you.